I read a statement that sums up everything and completely relates to how I sometimes feel . A binge eating disorder is not the calories eaten but the feeling of being out of control.
This is why it’s hard for people not in this vicious cycle to understand. Yeah all I’ve eaten extra is 3 biscuits a hot choc w/ marshmallows & 2 glasses of fizz. But to me that is enough to make me worry about the detrimental effect it has had on all my hard work at the gym and all my careful meal planning.
The problem is definitely improving but I am influenced by others and obviously have a social responsibility to uphold & can’t rule myself out of EVERY social occasion because after all I am a very sociable character! Staying in is my worst enemy but when you’re skint it’s so much harder to stay away from prosecco and wine when others offer it!
Alcohol & food = badddddddd for me I just need to get the balance so I don’t feel out of control – it’s also realising what is & isn’t normal behaviour when under the influence … Does everyone eat too much when drunk?
I constantly question what is and isn’t normal because I kind of wish I was a bit more normal with my eating so it didn’t take up so much time & energy that could be spent productively !!
Daves home soon and he is the one and only person who makes the above issues ok ( after major initial wobbles he basically tells me to get a grip and that it means I can squat heavy the next day! )
So update wise I am getting there and have maintained usual weight without weighing myself every weekI just need a bit more support along the way but I’m halfway up the mountain!!!