There’s no numbers in binge eating disorder .


I read a statement that sums up everything and completely relates to how I sometimes feel . A binge eating disorder is not the calories eaten but the feeling of being out of control.

This is why it’s hard for people not in this vicious cycle to understand. Yeah all I’ve eaten extra is 3 biscuits a hot choc w/ marshmallows & 2 glasses of fizz. But to me that is enough to make me worry about the detrimental effect it has had on all my hard work at the gym and all my careful meal planning.

The problem is definitely improving but I am influenced by others and obviously have a social responsibility to uphold & can’t rule myself out of EVERY social occasion because after all I am a very sociable character! Staying in is my worst enemy but when you’re skint it’s so much harder to stay away from prosecco and wine when others offer it!

Alcohol & food = badddddddd for me I just need to get the balance so I don’t feel out of control – it’s also realising what is & isn’t normal behaviour when under the influence … Does everyone eat too much when drunk?

I constantly question what is and isn’t normal because I kind of wish I was a bit more normal with my eating so it didn’t take up so much time & energy that could be spent productively !!

Daves home soon and he is the one and only person who makes the above issues ok ( after major initial wobbles he basically tells me to get a grip and that it means I can squat heavy the next day! )
So update wise I am getting there and have maintained usual weight without weighing myself every weekI just need a bit more support along the way but I’m halfway up the mountain!!!



Friday night Subway rant!


I have just seen this HuffPost article and I had to have a mini rant about fast food and immoral gyms!:

‘Subway are removing ‘shoe rubber ingredient from their Bread’ via:

Eww! Why can’t they just use whole ingredients instead of pumping loads of rubbish into their products!

I also hate the fact that they’re endorsed by athletes there is even an advertisement for subway in my local Gym- why advertise such crap-(don’t even mention the ice cream and chocolate machines installed there, its sooo wrong!!)

Why not have a massive poster of REAL FOOD?! and actually promote Real HEALTH & well-being through educating staff and clients? instead of PRETENDING you want the best for your clients and targeting the vulnerable, less proactive clients with backwards information that will, in the long run, be detrimental and ineffective for weight loss/health.

Slightly off the subject but if ‘snacks’ need to be available in a gym (which they don’t), bring in a local business to provide raw or gluten free/sugar free protein bars/ shakes post workout. Surely providing the body with vital nutrients post workout is better than the sugar & fat combo in confectionery?- Also, what an awesome USP – be the only gym in the area to actually promote PROPER health and well-being instead of mass market generic rubbish.


Friday rant over.

The Fear!


Today I have woken up with ‘the fear’, the feeling of having over indulged in wine and realising that I’ve had a massive food binge.

This is a reoccurring (weekly) experience , infact every time I drink I have this problem- the only obvious solution is to not drink -something I have tried before and realised how boring life is without wine so that is not an option!

I often find myself googling ‘ how to recover from a binge’ and the answers are always the same, I think I do it to acknowledge that I’m not alone and that other really fit, health conscious people do suffer as well!

Binge eating is like alcoholism it is an addiction, as referred to in this old but informative article. Many people don’t realise this and think it’s to do with lack of control. On one hand it is but I also think it’s a problem that’s been triggered by an event or period in life- but I am still trying to pin point this!

The reason behind the writing of my blog was to raise awareness among friends and family of binge eating disorder and how it was affecting me and why I wanted to change .
I have certainly improved over the months and have managed to reach the stage where I no longer weigh myself every day which is massive!

My ultimate goal is to NOT BINGE at all! One step I have taken today was hiding all christmas choc ( I can’t waste things so couldn’t throw it out!) and making the decision not to get back into the trap of ‘treat days’. Treat days seem to be creeping back in to my weeks again and it is not a healthy habit! Instead my focus is on just eating an all round healthy mainly paleo diet and if there is a cake that needs eating i will eat it, and that’s it- one treat is not a reason to go wild and eat loads! As I didn’t have a dry January, I have also decided to eliminate alcohol until Dave is back at the end of Feb, just so I can keep on top of binges and feel healthy for a while!

My other goal is to keep raising awareness of binge eating disorder because it is pushed aside as an excuse for overeating and a general lack of will power related to overweight people but it is a massive problem especially in athletic, fitness types who tend to deprive themselves of sugar. (An addictive substance!)

So please keep sharing my blog, comment if you like it and I hope it is helping readers understand the issues and will allow you to support anyone who is also finding it difficult to deal with binge eating as it is so under addressed and underexposed in the media !