Isn’t it strange how a 10 second step on the weights can change the way you see yourself in the mirror? That’s me.
I look in the mirror, think ‘ooo I don’t look to bad today maybe i’ll brave the scales and see if i’ve lost weight’-even though the thought has already started to create a mild anxiety…then I weigh more than 9st4 and feel sick and irritated and look in the mirror and see my protruding stomach and big thighs. I then go on to limit my calorie and carb intake for the whole day and have a small panic attack if that routine has to change. That is what I would describe as having an eating disorder. You don’t have to be super skinny to have one…as explained in this article. One of the misconceptions is that we all look malnourished and emaciated but a large percentage actually are of average weight because of the binges .
The problem is we LOVE food but for some reason we can’t control the intake and punish ourselves for it.
This is why i have decided to discontinue FODMAP.
It was kind of working,the bloating had slightly reduced-but not much.
The problem with FODMAP is the reduction of fructose ie apples, pears (easy snacking fruit)there are quite a few bits of info on the downsides of fructose that i have read up on, this was also passed my way recently, which confirmed that yes, i probably do have a problem with it.
So because I would usually reach for fruit to curb any sweet cravings, I couldn’t, it was absolute torture!Which meant to ease my craving, I let myself have some chocolate…which led to a full on binge.
Randomly i ate cheese, (be it lactose free due to FODMAP !I never crave cheese! I haven’t included it in my diet for over 2 years, this was a warning sign for me-I was starting to feel out of control, and eating is the one thing i need to be able to control.
I could feel myself sliding back into my old eating ways over the last 2 weeks, and obviously I had to nip it in the bud because this blog is all about moving forward!
So from today I am just going to focus on portion sizes and my usual paleo eating.
This diagram is pretty useful!
For each meal I concentrate on having a palm sized amount of protein, a fist of green veg & a fist of carbs.
I find that leaving 1/4 of my tea and boxing it up for lunch helps with control too!
So that’s where the journey is at this week, hopefully the next week will be a bit easier now. I swear those scales are going through the window soon!