Back on the wagon….

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Well, its been an emotionally mixed few weeks both good and bad…I’ve not had chance to write much recently as I have been spending my time making multiple notes on the economic depression and Illy coffee…absolutely loving being back at uni again, even though the large workload and small amount of lectures are tricky to balance! But I love to be focused and working at achieving my main aim…to get a bloody good job! In a hot country preferably!

This is what my week looks like graphically….! 

 

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My eating anxieties have been all over the place over the last 2 weeks. They must be stress related. The biggest stress has been not having a job-since GB stopped ( as mentioned before Dave is chasing the commercial diver dream and leaving in a week eek!). This has left me as a poor student, living in NE England in an economy that has mass unemployment in my age group so you can imagine it has not been the most exciting few weeks…..but worry not, that is being rectified as we speak!

Before this my eating was becoming less obsessive and monitored, I was actively not weighing myself and allowing treats. Dave could cope with my little anxious outbursts. Recently though, I think starting from last weekend, when I had a really big binge. If you don’t suffer with eating anxieties then I will describe to you how it feels. You eat, for no reason other than you have previously denied yourself of all ‘treat food’. You feel that you are inconspicuous and being ‘weird’ for not trying the party buffet, so decide that you will try a small amount. A this point you feel satisfied, you’re not even hungry to be honest. 10 minutes later you feel horrendous- I at this point will start trying to justify myself to Dave, or my friends and try to convince myself that it’s ok, I wont get fat with half a slice of quiche and half a cupcake. BUT Because I feel so bloody guilty, I just think ‘bugger it’ and just eat-like every one else is. Except, because I’m not even hungry i feel fat, bloated and ridiculously full. But imagine this…I just cant stop and the worse bit is….I don’t even know why?!

After this episode i was gutted literally devastated and when I got home planned my strategy to rid all of the calories consumed over the next week.

Oh and for the next few days I have spent them being an emotional mess because all I can think about is how fat i feel/look, if i’ve put any weight on ( I’m too scared to weigh myself) and how how how do i stop doing this?

The only thing that is distracting me at the moment is my uni assignments, which I am halfway though, and my social calender planning! Oh and the drive to pass uni, and get an amazing internship ! 

So this is how I am going to cope with it in the near future. Distraction Distraction Distraction. Oh and the support from my amazing best friends- the only ones I feel actually understand my thought pattern, and how to handle it!

Whilst i am writing this, I am feeling pretty excited about the future, and I am currently feeling in control as I chose to have a rest day today ( which wouldn’t usually be an issue, but recently has been ) and you know what, I feel much better for it and after a bit of a breakdown about Dave deciding that were going to Leeds this weekend for food ( i was planning on working out and not having any ‘bad food’) I am now looking forward to it and feel that with Dave’s support I will be able to have full control and wont binge. I can do it. Just sometimes I wobble and lose focus! I’m only human i suppose!

Anyway on that note, I am going to get some sleep…I should really put a link to show research on how sleep effects moods/ fat loss etc.. but i really wont bore you haha!

Next time I will be speaking about my prep for FODMAP and how the first week without Dave goes…!

OOOOO and I am researching loads of PALEO recipes for Halloween such as this..Brownie recipe mmm mmmmImage 

What will you be making? Let me know any tried and tested Paleo recipes if you follow it!

Goodnight people!

E

 

x

 

A slave to the cake…

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This is why I first started the blog if you’re interested please share and comment! 🙂 x

I Don't Eat Cake

Hi Guys,

Welcome to my new blog!

I have decided to write this away from our food business (ironically) , mostly to get a few things off my chest about eating & fitness issues out there into the huge world of the internet, but also to help others who also have to deal with some of the little niggles driving you slowly insane – you’re not alone! I will cover this all in this blog.

Now bear with me as i haven’t had to write anything personal or reflective since A level English so there may be a few grammatical errors here and there….!

So people who know me (& some of my Facebook followers) will have already realised I have an abnormal obsession with losing weight, eating clean and not eating cake.
I am sharing this with you because I have had enough. I am sick to death of…

View original post 1,006 more words

A few recipes to try out on a rainy day!

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Saturdays are my productive days, but being immensely hungover today it turned into my cooking day!

I had some gram flour left over from a while ago and decided to try out Torta de Cici a chickpea flatbread that we discovered in Lucca.

Heres the recipe :

Prep Time: 5mins Cooking Time: 30mins 175 degrees fan oven

  •  300 g chick-pea flour (also called gram flour)
  • 700ml fresh cold water
  • (1 tsp) salt & black pepper, or to taste
  • 60ml extra virgin olive oil

I halved this so I could make more at a later date.

The method is easy, whisk the flour, water and seasoning together until it is smooth. Then cover with clingfilm and stand for 3-4 hours.

To Cook pour the olive oil in a heavy rimmed tray about 1/4 inch deep and put in the oven until it is smoking. Then Carefully pour the batter in and cook for 30 mins.

This first batch was a bit dry…. think I need some more olive oil next time and to cook it for less! If you try it let me know how yours goes!photo 1

 

 

I served these hot with my Brocolli Paleo Pesto ( Recipe Below).

 

 

 

 

 

 

When planning my tea I wanted to try and use as much stuff up so I could keep costs down. I found some split peas and red lentils.

This is what I did with them….it tasted nice honestly!

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I found the Brocolli Pesto Recipe on a great foodie website! It was the best out of all of the dishes by far!

paleobasilpesto

 

E xx

Stress=Eat?

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This week I have been thinking a lot about how stress affects us.

People who know me will tell you that I’m far too laid back and don’t stress…. This is partly true regarding subjects i really should stress about, IE Uni Deadlines, Exams and Interviews.

My views on this is, there is nothing to worry about, until something occurs that should cause concern.  I am a strange girl, but look forward to interviews, as it is the only time you are really able to sell yourself and showcase your strengths-which aren’t always clear on a piece of paper.

My Uni friends must all think I’m mental as I spend more time on my laptop than in lectures, but always (somehow) get great results ( yeah I’m modest). This is because I crack on, do what needs to be done, and most importantly I don’t stress. The subject information just seems to stay there and I think this is due to this.

Oh and I’m the calmest person you ever met in a busy Street Food Stall. Again, what’s the worst that can happen?

BUT

When it comes to the small stuff….I have an internal melt down! ( you wouldn’t be able to tell from the outside though…I’m good at being ‘fine’) Not even exercise can rid the  niggling stress feeling that stops me from thinking clearly, fatigues me and treats me to teenage spots! woo!

This weeks stress was the job situation or lack of….with Dave going away, I am unable to run Greedy Bassets, I just cant do it without my main fish fryer! I am also sick of being a poor student and would love to be able to buy all the Zara dresses I want, with the knowledge that I will be getting paid the following month….! Anyway I haven’t found a job yet and I am feeling major stress. Usually my stress makes me EAT EAT EAT and I generally tend to put weight on.

Strangely … I just cant eat meals. Weighed myself and I’m still 9st 2 which is great. I’m now more worried that I wont have enough energy to workout, and I don’t seem to be able to drag myself out of bed for my morning workouts.

Here is a link for an article I was reading about how stress affects eating… http://www.bucknell.edu/x78683.xml It details how individuals with eating disorders block out food thoughts when stressed… maybe that’s what’s happening here?

Another Symptom of this stress is my HUGEEEEEE bloated stomach! IBS was traditionally linked to stress (even though the cause is still not clear) I am definitely suffering from that today. Does anyone else link their IBS to stress?  Oh and the only way I feel that I can cope with this stressy feeling is to write. I was the teachers pet in English Language at College and I am starting to think that writing is something I should follow because I have always loved it ( on the other hand I HATE academic writing!), it will definitely help me in the world of Marketing!

A lovely aspect to this week was chatting to a fellow slave to the scales who commented positively on my blog, and shared it with her colleagues (thanks!) It was encouraging to speak to someone who has the same problem, because generally, not many people understand the thought process if they haven’t been through it themselves.

Also my thoughts of eating are not taking over my life as usual, mainly because they have been replaced with the stress of trying to find a job, but again it is a positive spin on the monotonous  job applications I have been filling in allll day!

I am going to try and incorporate more images in to my next few blogs for all you readers who flick through pictures, more than you read things!

Tea tonight is going to be Venison salad (dressed in dijon honey dressing) with sweet potatoes and creme fraiche…might even treat you to a sneaky instagram..its what i do best!

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Have a fun weekend, and if anyone fancies treating me to a spa day, feel free! (I’ll repay you in food!)

 

x

 

 

I ate cake…and survived!

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Hi there!

Let’s get the negatives out the way first….Last weekend was birthday weekend…and to cut things short my method of eating cake on Sunday to try to control any kind of binge on Monday didn’t work.

I had a massive binge on Monday and felt upset and miserable after as well as ill! It really makes you feel like you have failed yourself!

But that was last week and we did have an amazing time over the weekend…including a visit to my favourite place on the Yorkshire coast …Woodlands @ Sandsend you need to check it out they serve up beautiful dishes like this Grilled Polenta and Caponata!

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The customer service is outstanding, the lady who runs it remembered us and brought me a birthday cocktail! The coffee is also UNREAL!

Check it out here…https://www.facebook.com/woodlands.sandsend

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Progress..

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Good Afternoon people!

Today I am feeling pretty happy with myself! I went out for tea last night ( this never happens mid week…!) to Pixies Diner ( I am spoilt when it comes to food due to the industry we work in….but It was no where near as good as the Joint @ Brixtonbut I ate what I wanted, bar carbs and had alcohol without feeling guilty…and you know what, I felt like that because I knew I wasn’t going to weigh myself today! Best feeling ever. I just carried on and went to the gym and didn’t over work myself like I usually would.

Tomorrow is the start of my 3 day birthday….yes I know I’m so spoilt. But the main reason I’ve done this is so I don’t have a massive binge eat on my birthday, and ruin how I feel that day. Instead it’s split over 3 days and I know I won’t be weighing myself until Friday at the earliest (my goal) so I can enjoy it!It may sound weird but I have planned to have my bday cake the day before so I won’t have a panic attack, think it’s going to waste and try to eat the whole thing in one day! This is a positive for me though as it is kind of putting a technique in place to guard me from over eating then feeling awful, so hopefully it will work…!

I went to the dietician the other day….and she told me to try FODMAP… Basically excludes pretty much every vegetable and fruit I eat including onions and garlic. I have onions in my scrambled egg, my lunch and my tea, so I think I’ll have to have a massive think on how to deal without them haha!
As I already exclude a massive amount from my diet she couldn’t really offer much more advice, and said I should try the FODMAP diet for 6 weeks from November….still umming and arring, but I suppose they know more than me , and it might help with my pregnant looking stomach!

I have been walking more….which I have been doing every couple of days, it’s not bad when you have a view like this….

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If I ever feel like I’m really going OTT and about to have an eating melt down, I have started going for a run or a long walk to distract myself. When I get back I am usually STARVING, which is a different feeling, as I am very good at keeping at a level where I never ever feel like that. I am a managing it by having my own hummus and carrots close by and only having a few whilst I cook my meal. So I don’t over eat and feel bleurgh! it’s all in the planning! My planning is just slightly more than others…!

My new technique is stopping eating when I’m full, which I have real trouble with because for some reason I can’t cope with wasting food (it’s like throwing away money maybe?). So I have been boxing up half the stuff on my plate for lunch the next day and making loads of gorgeous mashups like Butternut Squash and Kale with creme fraiche and cauliflower rice ! Amazing!

Not a lot to report this week, I’m sure there will be lots to tell after the weekend…. Lots of food planned yippee!
Pics to follow!

Have a fab weekend
Xx